


Coming Home

by SailorChibi



Series: Babysitting Tony [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Adult baby, Age Play, Angst and Fluff, Baby!Tony, Baby-sitting, Big Brother Clint, Crying, Cuddling, Daddy!Steve, Diapers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Infantilism, Little!Tony, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play, Oblivious Steve Rogers, Pacifiers, Platonic Cuddling, Self-Esteem Issues, Supernanny Phil Coulson, Thumb-sucking, Tony Stark Has Daddy Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Uncle Phil, and for good reason, bottles, but only tony, clint has the headspace of a toddler, consensual age play, coulson is the best uncle ever, daddy!Phil, little!Clint, non-sexual infantilism, pull-ups, sippy cups, tony stark has abandonment issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-16 01:19:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13625532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorChibi/pseuds/SailorChibi
Summary: After the talk with Coulson, Steve agreed to cut down on how many times he went looking for Bucky. But after he doesn't come home from a SHIELD mission, and JARVIS reports that the Winter Soldier was last seen in the same area as Steve, Tony is torn between two fears: has Steve been captured or hurt during the mission, or is this is the time that Steve chooses the Winter Soldier over him?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a commission from an anon who wanted to see a fic between Babysitting Clint Barton and Big Brothers. So in this fic, Tony and Clint have _not_ been kidnapped by Hydra yet or outed to the other Avengers.

“Wanna get drunk tonight?”

Tony looked up in surprise, blinking at Natasha and Bruce. When had they arrived? The last thing he remembered was coming home from a meeting and deciding that he’d sit down at the kitchen table to look at the contracts Pepper had given him. He’d gotten completely absorbed, becoming more and more incensed the further he read. No wonder Pepper had snorted when he’d ask when she needed them back by. There was no way Stark Industries was signing this.

“Hello in there,” Natasha said, knocking gently on his forehead. She had a plate of toasted apple strudels in front of her, and she took a bite of one. 

“I’m here,” Tony said, pushing her hand away. “I just… I was lost in the idiocy of other people, that’s all. What did you say?”

“Do you want to get drunk tonight?” she repeated.

“Oh. Uh, no. I’m good,” Tony said, looking back down at his contract to avoid the surprised looks that both she and Bruce were giving him. Normally he would’ve said yes: getting drunk with Natasha, and by extension Clint, was the best. Both of them were full of stories, and, when drunk and comfortable, were willing to share things that you would otherwise never be able to pry out of them. Tony had heard some very intriguing details about Coulson, Fury and a mission in Tokyo that he was just waiting to blindside Fury with.

“Are you okay?” Bruce asked. “Is this about Steve?”

Tony’s stomach flipped at the sound of Steve’s name. Steve had been gone on a mission by himself for four days now, which was one day longer than he’d initially said it would be. Coulson said it was supposed to be fairly routine, but Steve had dropped off the grid and no one had heard from him. The mission itself didn’t appear to have been compromised, so no one could tell whether Steve was in trouble or had delayed contact to keep the mission intact.

“I’m fine,” he said, forcing a smile. It was a lie. Tony was terrified. He could understand SHIELD’s reluctance to barge in with guns blazing, but this was _Steve_. It took all of Tony’s self control not to put on the armor and go find out what was going on himself.

Natasha’s eyes narrowed. “But you don’t want to get drunk?”

“Nope. I have other plans tonight. Sorry. Rain check?” Tony stood, scooping up the contracts. The papers were getting all messed up, but he didn’t care. He needed to get away from the knowing looks. That was the annoying part about sharing the tower with the team: they were more than just roommates now. They were friends, if not family, and they all knew him too well.

But what Natasha, Bruce and Thor didn’t know, and Tony was determined to keep it that way, was about the very special relationship Tony and Steve had. It wasn’t just his boyfriend that Tony was missing, it was his daddy. And as the minutes without word from Steve ticked by, Tony was finding it harder and harder to not slip into his little headspace. He was managing to keep it back by the skin of his teeth, but anything that lowered his inhibitions or his control was not a good idea right now.

Chances were he’d pay for declining later. They’d be all worried about him spending too much time alone now. With any luck, they’d send Clint in to ask questions. Clint would understand the best how Tony was feeling, considering that he felt the same way whenever Coulson went on a mission without him. It was possible that they’d send Coulson, but Tony hoped not. One look at Coulson’s kind face and he’d crumble into pieces.

He hid from the team for the rest of the day, occupying his time with conference and video calls. Pepper certainly approved – they worked through a stack of stuff that had been sitting on her desk for months – but Tony was left feeling more at a loss than ever when they finally hung up. He checked his phone, but of course there was nothing from Steve. JARVIS would’ve alerted him immediately if there was.

“Steve, where are you?” he whispered, locking his phone and sliding it back into his pocket. He put his elbows on the desk and buried his face in his hands. The urge to cry was almost overwhelming. He fought to push it back, struggling to keep himself under control. Falling to pieces wouldn’t help anyone right now.

But control had been much easier before he and Steve got together, though. Don’t get Tony wrong: he loved age playing. He loved the attention, the affection, the _care_ that age playing afforded him. But it did have some negative side effects. It was harder to keep his mask up around the team, especially Steve. He could still keep his cool where it counted, but things like this? He just wanted to cry and have someone rush to his side and comfort him.

After several minutes of some deep breathing exercises Bruce had taught him, Tony felt slightly calmer. “JARVIS, where’s the team right now?”

“Agent Romanov and Dr. Banner are in the living room watching a movie. Agents Coulson and Barton have just returned home from SHIELD. Agent Barton is getting ready to join those in the living room, but Agent Coulson is on his way down here,” JARVIS replied.

“Shit,” Tony breathed, scrambling to his feet. For about two seconds, he seriously contemplated going into black-out mode and disallowing Coulson access. But that would only get him punishment when Steve got home. One of their hard and fast rules was that Tony was never allowed to lock himself in the workshop if he was starting to feel or felt little, and somehow Steve _always_ knew. 

Plus that would only serve to worry Coulson and the rest of the team, and Tony didn’t feel right doing that when they were all already worried about Steve. They didn’t need to be concentrating on Tony right now. He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, wondering just what his life had come to when he was so concerned about other people, and braced himself for Coulson’s entrance.

“Tony,” Coulson said, walking straight into the workshop. He looked tired, as he often did when he came home from a full day (or more) at SHIELD. He’d already been to the floor he and Clint shared, since he was dressed in jeans and a golf shirt rather than the three-piece suit he’d left that morning in. 

“Agent,” Tony replied, schooling his face and giving nothing away. “Can I help you?”

Coulson just looked at him for a moment, then sighed. “Don’t do this, Tony. Don’t try to lock yourself away. I’m here for you, okay? Just me and you. I’m here.”

“I’m fine,” Tony said. He meant to sound aggressive, meant to warn Coulson off, but instead the word came out as half-sob, his voice breaking. He started to turn away, embarrassed.

But Coulson was there, across the room so fast that Tony wondered if he’d developed teleportation as a side skill without telling anyone, pulling Tony into a hug. Tony resisted, tensing up and biting his lip. He really didn’t want to give into his headspace right now. He was too aware that at any moment, the Avengers alarm might go off because Steve needed them – and another one of their hard rules was that Tony wasn’t allowed to pilot the armor when he was little.

“It’s okay if you’re scared and worried about Steve,” Coulson murmured. “You don’t need to be strong all the time. We’re here for you to lean on if you need us.”

“But I need to be strong,” Tony said, frustrated. “For Steve.”

“I know, but Steve wouldn’t want you to push your headspace away if you needed it.”

“I don’t,” Tony lied.

Coulson pulled away slightly to give him a look of disbelief. “Really?”

“Yes! No. I don’t know. I’m functioning. Isn’t that enough?” 

“That’s your choice. I won’t push you one way or the other, but I am here if you need me. So is Clint. We’re going to age play tonight. Clint needs it, and so do I. It was a long day. So if you want to come by…” Coulson trailed off and reached up to smooth the collar of Tony’s shirt. “You know Clint loves having you around to play, and I don’t mind.”

“I’ll think about it,” Tony said. He wanted to say no, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Coulson had been so good about stepping in when Steve was away.

Coulson smiled. “That’s all I ask. Now come on. I was sent down here with strict instructions to bring you back with me.”

“I guess skipping supper is out of the question.”

“You’ll have Natasha down here if you try.”

That was a fate far worse than suffering through supper with everyone. Tony shook his head and told JARVIS to power everything down as he followed Coulson out of the workshop and into the elevator. He really didn’t feel like eating until he found out Bruce had made curry. Bruce’s curry was amazing and he didn’t make it that often, so Tony’s appetite came back in a hurry.

The supper wasn’t too bad, as it turned out, and the Avengers dispersed shortly after to do their own activities. Thor had a date with Jane. Bruce had an experiment he wanted to start. Natasha didn’t say where she was going, but, given that she left the tower in an evening gown, Tony figured she probably had a date too. Clint and Coulson disappeared upstairs together, of course.

So he was alone in his bedroom, half-heartedly think about going to bed, when JARVIS spoke to him. “Sir, I have discovered some new data about the whereabouts of Captain Rogers’ disappearance.”

“What?” Tony turned quickly, heart pounding. Was this it? Were they going to find Steve? He waited with baited breath as JARVIS pulled the data up. Steve’s last known location was in a very small European country. Tony had researched the country, but nothing he’d found seemed helpful even though SHIELD seemed convinced that there was something worth looking into.

It took him a moment to understand what he was looking at. And when he did, he kind of wished that he hadn’t. What JARVIS was showing him should have, in theory, had nothing to do with Steve. It was one of the many Winter Soldier location programs that Tony had running all the time. He and Steve had come to an agreement that, unless the probability of the Winter Soldier actually being there was higher than 75%, Steve wouldn’t go. There were just too many missions where it wasn’t the Winter Soldier after all, or the Winter Solider was long gone, and Steve had been spending too much time away from the tower.

Right now, JARVIS was indicating that the probability was at 74% in the exact same country Steve had been sent to.

Tony stared at the results for several minutes, feeling sick to his stomach. 74%. That was pretty damn close to their line. Had Steve received this data? Tony had it set up directly to go to Steve’s phone. JARVIS didn’t monitor it all the time. Maybe Steve wasn’t missing at all. Maybe he’d gotten this alert and decided to check it out. Maybe he’d just decided that he could be quick and so he didn’t need to tell Tony or anyone else. Maybe all this worrying Tony was doing was for nothing.

An ugly little voice inside of Tony whispered that maybe this was the moment when Steve chose the Winter Soldier, chose _Bucky_ , over him.

“Sir?” JARVIS prompted gently. “What would you like me to do with this data?”

“Send it to Natasha,” Tony whispered. The lump in his throat made it impossible to speak out loud. He’d never shared his fears of being abandoned with Steve, though he was pretty sure that certain people – Coulson, Clint, maybe Natasha – had guessed. Back when Coulson had had to step up because Tony crashed while Steve was gone, Steve had come to the conclusion that Tony was just feeling neglected. And Tony had never told him the whole truth. He was afraid.

Everyone knew what Steve and Bucky meant to each other. There was too much of a chance that Tony couldn’t compete. He sank down onto his bed, at once numb and nauseous, mind filled with images of Captain America and the Winter Soldier going on the run together. 

Maybe this was the moment when Steve never came back.


	2. Chapter 2

Natasha was standing in the room with Phil when she got the message from JARVIS. Clint was in the bedroom, officially taking a shower but really hiding from her so that she wouldn’t see him in his little headspace. Phil had just finished passing on some information from Fury when Natasha’s phone beeped. She looked at the screen automatically and her eyes widened.

“What is it?” Phil asked, alarmed. He sucked in a quick breath when Natasha held the phone out to him but quickly schooled his expression so that Natasha wouldn’t see how the information had affected him. She looked at him like she’d seen through him regardless, but was tactful enough not to draw attention to it at the moment. They had bigger problems.

“Should I follow up on this?” she asked.

“Yes,” Phil said immediately. Officially none of the Avengers were allowed to follow up on Steve’s whereabouts. Not until a certain amount of time had passed (three days, or seventy-two hours, was the standard), or until Steve triggered an alarm. The mission was too important for that. But this was an excellent excuse to send Natasha to the same area for an unrelated reason; not even Fury would be able to argue against that. And really, Natasha was their best bet if they wanted to keep the mission uncompromised.

“I’ll go right now. One way or the other, I’m bringing a supersoldier home with me.” Natasha’s smile was equal parts grim and determined. She pocketed her phone and stalked out of the room. Phil knew that, within the next ten minutes, the Avengers’ quinjet would go missing. That was fine. He wished Natasha the best of luck, but he had a more pressing matter to deal with. 

“JARVIS, where is Tony?” 

“Sir is on his way up,” JARVIS replied, which surprised Phil. He’d expected to hear that Tony was hiding out in the workshop, or maybe in the bedroom he shared with Steve. That was what Tony usually did when he got bad news, especially when he was on the cusp of his little headspace – either that, or he’d go for a drive or a flight in the Iron Man armor. Phil had never appreciated Steve’s rule about the armor when Tony was feeling little than he did right now.

Natasha would’ve taken the stairs when she saw that the elevator was otherwise occupied, so Phil knew that it would be Tony on the other side. Sure enough, the doors swept open to reveal a disheveled man, hair mussed from where he’d been running his fingers through it, face screwed up in an a (poor) effort to hold back tears. Phil took one look at him and opened his arms.

“Come here, baby,” he said, keeping his voice firm but gentle. After years of taking newbie agents under his wing, he knew exactly how to sound to get Tony moving.

And it worked, sort of. Tony looked up at him and promptly lost whatever control he’d been clinging to. The bitten-back sob was audible, and it would’ve been impossible to miss the fat tears that began rolling down Tony’s cheeks. He didn’t move, but Phil wasn’t surprised. He opted to close the distance between them instead, wrapping Tony up in a big hug.

“D-D’ddy went a’ter B’nes,” Tony sobbed, collapsing into the embrace like he’d been kicked in the knees. Phil staggered a little but caught them with a shoulder to the wall, twisting slightly so that his back bore the full impact. Tony curled into him, weeping into his shirt as he plummeted into his headspace.

It took a few seconds for Phil to parse through the words. Once he understood, he sighed. Of course that was the conclusion Tony had jumped to. Phil couldn’t really blame him. It was true that Steve had been making more of an effort to stay around the tower, but Steve was also young and didn’t always fully think things through. A quick deviation to “just see” if Barnes was there could have turned into something much lengthier. At one time, that would’ve been the case.

But not this time. Steve knew how much Tony worried. Not just about him, but about everyone on the team. It was a struggle for Tony to deal with the fact that SHIELD agents sometimes went off-grid: he understood, because Tony was an intelligent man, but it was harder to accept it. Even if he thought going after Barnes would upset Tony, Phil still believed that Steve would’ve at least sent a text.

He thought that Tony would’ve known that too had it not been for Tony’s long-standing, deep-rooted self esteem problems. Damn Howard Stark. A lifetime of neglect had made sure that Tony thought he wasn’t worthy of love or affection. And damn everyone else who had ever betrayed Tony Stark and left him believing that, sooner or later, all his relationships would end the same way. That fear was poisoning Tony’s mind right now, leaving him a shaking, sobbing mess in Phil’s arms.

“You don’t know that,” Phil whispered, knowing that the words were a paltry effort and probably falling on deaf ears. He wasn’t the person that Tony needed, but he was the only one around equipped to deal with this. There was no way Tony would be exiting his headspace anytime soon.

He wrapped an arm around Tony’s waist and pushed them both off the wall, hobbling out of the elevator. Tony was weak in his arms, but at least he possessed enough awareness to walk with Phil. They made their way slowly across the living room, where they were met by a wide-eyed Clint. Phil was incredibly grateful when Clint slid under Tony’s other arm and helped to take some of Tony’s weight.

“What happened, Daddy?” he asked, sounding alarmed. “Did something happen to Uncle Steve?” His voice wobbled a little. Phil hastily shook his head. He didn’t need two breakdowns.

“No, little bird. We haven’t heard anything. Tony’s just having a rough time worrying that something might’ve happened. You can understand that, right?” He decided not to tell Clint about Barnes tonight. That would probably cause Clint to leave his little headspace, and Clint needed to be little after a long day.

“Oh. Poor Tony,” Clint said, looking sympathetically at Tony. “Daddy, should I go get Tony’s stuffed toy and blankie?”

"That would be very helpful," Phil said. "While you do that, I'll get Tony into a diaper and onesie." He went through the bedroom door first and pulled Tony and Clint in after him. With Clint's help, he eased Tony down onto the bed. Tony curled up into a small ball, hiding his face in his hands. His whole body shook from the force of his tears. Phil sighed, straightening up and wincing as his back cracked. He was getting too old for this.

"I'll go right now," Clint said, dashing out of the room.

"JARVIS, would you watch him for me? Make sure he doesn't go anywhere else?" Phil said.

"Of course, Agent Coulson," JARVIS said. He was like the world's best baby-sitter because he could see everywhere in the tower at the same time, and he knew exactly what Clint and Tony were allowed to do in their headspaces. 

Relieved that Clint was distracted, Phil turned his attention to Tony. It took little effort to strip Tony out of the shirt and jeans he was wearing. He was bare beneath the jeans, which was another sign that Tony had been on the cusp of his headspace all day. Phil tipped the baby onto his back and grabbed for the diaper bag that he kept underneath the bed. He knew from experience that if he didn't get Tony into a diaper quickly, it would result in a big mess. Especially with how upset Tony was right now. A wet baby would help no one.

He rubbed a little diaper cream between Tony's thighs and sprinkled on some baby powder, then strapped the diaper into place. Then he pulled a grey onesie out of the diaper bag. It was patterned with little purple penguins. Normally that might've been enough to coax a smile out of Tony, but not tonight. Tony just sniffled wetly and whimpered as Phil guided his hands into the arms. Thank god, Phil thought, for onesies that snapped shut at the crotch, which mean that he didn't have to try getting Tony's squirmy legs into pants or shorts. He snapped the onesie shut and sat down on the bed beside the baby.

"It's okay, honey. It's okay," he soothed, pulling Tony half into his lap. The baby came willingly enough, smooshing his face against Phil's stomach and crying quiet tears into the fabric. Phil ran his hands through Tony's hair, trying to comfort him.

"Daddy, I got the toys!" Clint yelled. He ran into the room a moment later, clutching Tony's stuffed yellow kitten and purple blankie in his arms.

Phil smiled. "Good job! I'm proud of you."

Clint beamed and walked over to the bed. He jumped up onto the mattress, landing on his knees. "Tony! Tony, looky what I got!" 

Tony paid him no mind, which made Clint pout until he got an idea. He took the kitten and turned it around so that its tail was closest to Tony. Then he lightly dragged the furry tail down Tony's arm. Phil felt Tony jerk in surprise and had to bite back a smile. Very slowly, Tony turned his head to see what was going on. Tears still streamed down his face, but his eyes caught and focused on the toy. When he realized what it was, he whined and reached for it. Clint handed it over, still grinning, and then draped the blankie over Tony's head.

"Clint," Phil said, half-heartedly scolding him, as Tony batted the blankie off of him.

"What?" Clint said, all innocence. 

Phil just rolled his eyes at him and looked back down at Tony. The kitten's fluffy tail had gone straight into Tony's mouth and he was sucking ferociously on the tip of it. That meant he was hungry. He wasn't surprised. Tony had eaten a bowl of curry for supper, but that had been hours ago. And he suspected that Tony hadn't eaten much before that. He never did when Steve wasn't home, as though things like sleeping and eating became less important when Steve wasn't around. At the very least, a bottle might help Tony to stop crying.

"How about a snack?" Phil suggested, still stroking his fingers through Tony's hair. "Maybe some cookies?"

"Cookie!" Clint yelled, eyes lighting up. He jumped off the bed and shot out of the room. Phil sighed at his exuberance and shook his head fondly, standing up. He had to coax the baby into standing, and wrapped an arm around Tony's shoulders as soon as Tony was standing, albeit unsteadily, on his own two feet. They were all used to Steve carrying Tony everywhere when Tony was in his headspace, and not having Steve around made that a bit of a challenge.

He got Tony into the kitchen and found that Clint, helpful kid that he was tonight, had already pulled the container of cookies off the counter and was trying to twist the lid off. Phil cleared his throat pointedly, which meant that Clint froze. He turned a sheepish smile on Phil and put the container down on the kitchen table as though that was what he'd planned to do all along. Phil swallowed a laugh - if nothing else, Clint was a rambunctiously adorable little - and guided Tony into a chair at the table.

"Sit," he told Clint, pointing to the chair beside Tony. "Help Tony to stay sitting up, okay?"

"Okay, Daddy." Clint sat, scooting his chair close enough that he could pull Tony into a hug. Phil's heart melted at the sight. They'd never stop being adorable together.

He pulled himself together and started moving, pulling a bottle and a sippy cup out of the cupboards. He put a pot on the stove and poured in enough milk for both of them, then got a plate - he'd learned better than to leave the full container on the table within Clint's reach - and put some of the cookies on it. He spared a moment to check his phone, but of course there was nothing from Natasha yet. She wouldn't even reach the place where Barnes and Steve had last been seen until after midnight, probably closer to dawn.

By that point, the milk had warmed. Phil poured some into the bottle and the sippy cup and put the cookies on the table. Clint took his sippy cup happily enough, but Phil had to pull the kitten's tail out of Tony's mouth. Before Tony could let loose with another wail, Phil pushed the nipple of the bottle into his mouth and squeezed it just enough so that milk would touch Tony's tongue. Tony swallowed reflexively and then settled, fingers opening and closing around the kitten's tail while he suckled at the bottle. Phil leaned his head on his free hand as Clint grabbed a cookie, watching over his boys.


	3. Chapter 3

Steve was sweating, but he didn’t dare move to wipe the sweat off his forehead. It stung as it rolled into his eyes, but, considering that he’d come within a hair’s breadth of being discovered, it was nothing compared to what could’ve been happening right now. He was good, but not even Captain America was capable of fighting off three hundred Hydra agents all by himself. 

It was sheer luck that he’d stumbled across the warehouse of Hydra uniforms and had been able to appropriate one for himself. Putting the shirt on and seeing the Hydra symbol emblazoned on his chest made his skin crawl. He wanted to burn the uniform and then take the hottest shower his skin could stand so that he could scrub himself clean. He’d been dreaming about that from the moment he’d figured out that this mission was gonna take a little longer than Fury thought it would.

He eyed the control room he needed to get into while maintaining the illusion of patrolling. Hydra didn’t employ idiots, unfortunately. He had a sharp-eyed sergeant watching the squad’s every move. How he hadn’t figured out that Steve was a stranger was beyond Steve, but he wasn’t looking a gift horse in the mouth. He kept his head down and did as little work as possible while pretending he was putting all his effort into it.

The sergeant barked out orders in German. Steve knew the language well enough to realize that their patrolling shift had ended. He fell into line and finally lifted his head, wiping his forehead with his sleeve. It was uncomfortably warm in the hallway they’d been told to guard. He cast a quick glance over his shoulder, eyeing the room he needed to get into. After approximately twenty-four hours, he thought he knew the best time to make that happen.

Someone jostled his shoulder hard as he walked into the break room. He didn’t look up – he’d been wearing his hat low and not looking anyone in the eyes – but they pushed him again, harder. Annoyed, he risked a glance up and nearly choked on his own saliva when he saw Natasha’s eyes staring back at him. She had dark hair tucked up under the kind of cap the cleaners wore, but it was unmistakably her.

In the span of seconds, Steve felt like they were able to communicate several things: he knew that Natasha was here because Tony had been worried, and she knew that he hadn’t been able to get the data yet. Steve pushed her back under the guise of standing up for himself and, in the process, slipped her the flash drive Fury had given him. All they had to do was plug it in and wait thirty seconds.

Natasha took the flash drive and put her hand against his stomach: two fingers, pause, then her thumb pointing east. Then, expression haughty, she stalked out of the room. Steve made a rude gesture at her back and then settled in amongst the rest of his squad, pretending to leaf through one of the magazines sitting on the table. It held no interest for him; now that Natasha was here, things were going to move quicky. She’d have more freedom in moving around the building wearing a cleaner’s uniform, and she was also smaller and stealthier than Steve.

He waited the two hours and then slipped away while they were patrolling yet another hallway under the guise of needing the washroom. He did visit the bathroom, but not for the toilet. There was a window in the woman’s bathroom just big enough for Steve to squeeze out of. He jogged over to the warehouse where he’d first stolen the Hydra uniform and found his own and the shield, still hidden under a mountain of dirty laundry.

He headed east then, as Natasha had indicated, scaling the wall and leaping down on the other side at the same place where he’d initially entered the base. It was one of two blind spots where the cameras didn’t reach. He was relieved to shed the Hydra uniform – even setting aside the Hydra connotations, the uniform was damned itchy - and leave it behind in some bushes, swapping his Captain America uniform for it. 

“That looks better,” Natasha said behind him, voice low with laughter. Steve turned, still tugging his uniform up his hips. She was standing behind him wearing her Black Widow outfit, hair red again. She must have been wearing a wig.

“I thought I’d never get out,” Steve admitted. “They came within a hair of catching me, and once I was disguised I didn’t have a chance to do anything. Their agents are watched at all times. Who knew Hydra had trust issues?” He slid his arms into his suit. “I was going to make a move on the data tonight.”

“No need,” she said, flashing him the drive before sliding it into a pocket. “We got what SHIELD wanted and no one is the wiser. Let’s get out of here.”

“Gladly,” Steve muttered. The fresh air felt delightful after the stifling heat. He left his cowl down and enjoyed the cool breeze on his hot face.

They didn’t speak again until they were in the quinjet and Natasha had lifted them off, setting a course for Avengers Tower in New York. Then Natasha said, almost casually, “SHIELD has no idea that I’m here. Phil sent me after we found out that the Winter Soldier had last been seen in this area.”

The bottom dropped out of Steve’s stomach. “Bucky’s here?”

“74% confirmation as of twenty-nine hours ago,” she said, watching him out of the corner of her eye.

Part of Steve wanted to demand that she stop. He wanted to borrow her cell phone – his own had been lost while he was dodging Hydra agents, and was probably either still at the bottom of that stream or well on its way into a river by now – and look up the data for himself. The familiar rush of adrenaline that always hit when Bucky’s name was mentioned struck hard.

But with it was a sense of resignation, of having missed out, and that tempered the adrenaline somewhat. Bucky rarely stayed in one place for more than twelve hours. He was constantly on the move. If he was still around, it would only be until the Hydra base was destroyed: that was a big if. More likely, Bucky had realized the base didn’t have what he was looking for and had moved on long before Steve infiltrated.

Besides, he’d told Tony that he would only go searching for a 75% confirmation. 74% was close enough, but Steve had given his word. He would have to check in with Tony, see what Tony thought before –

His thoughts stopped. Something very close to dread crawled up his spine. “That’s where Tony thinks I was.”

Natasha blinked, returning her gaze to the window. “I didn’t talk to him. But yes, I would guess.”

“Fuck,” Steve swore. “Natasha, can I borrow your phone? I need to call him right now.”

His head spun as he took Natasha’s phone and retreated to the back of the plane for some semblance of privacy. He couldn’t blame Tony for jumping to that conclusion. There was a time when that would have been true, and Steve wouldn’t have thought twice about running after Bucky once a mission finished. He might not even have thought to alert Tony and the others that he was doing it. Natasha had told him once that he had tunnel vision when it came to Bucky, and she wasn’t wrong.

The thought of Tony spending the last day thinking that Steve had chosen Bucky yet again made him dial Tony’s number as quickly as he could. He waited, listening to the sound of it ringing, and his heart sank when Tony didn’t pick up. Tony always carried his cell phone with him – unless he was in his headspace. When that happened, Tony’s phone tended to be left behind. On a hunch, he called Phil instead.

“Hello? Natasha?”

“Phil,” Steve said, immeasurably grateful that Phil had picked up.

“Steve,” Phil breathed. “You’re okay.”

“I’m fine. How’s Tony?”

“… Not great,” Phil said after a noticeable pause. Steve squeezed his eyes shut, feeling sick.

“Oh god. Please tell him I’m on my way home and that I’ll be there soon. I didn’t go after Bucky.” He gave Phil a quick rundown of what had happened, leading off with the fact that the mission had been successful and that he now knew the outline of that particular Hydra base like the back of his hand. Phil listened to the report in silence, which wasn’t unusual.

“You successfully retrieved the data?” he asked at the end.

“Natasha did. I actually didn’t do anything but freak Tony out, apparently,” Steve said, trying to sound lighthearted but knowing he only sounded bitter. 

“Yes, he’s sleeping now. I had to rock him for quite a while before he dozed off. I’m going to let him sleep rather than wake him up. I’m not sure he’ll believe me if I tell him that you’re coming back.” Phil cleared his throat. “You guys need to talk, Steve.”

“I know. I know we do.” Steve wanted to say more, but he couldn’t when Natasha was so close. Tony had trust issues that ran miles deep. No one respected that more than Steve. But Tony also needed to believe him when Steve said that he was or wasn’t going to do something. They both needed to work hard on this aspect of their relationship: the nature of their jobs meant that unpredictable things happened frequently.

He said his goodbye to Phil and then went to shower, grateful that Tony had decided the quinjet needed one. There wasn’t nearly enough hot water for all the scrubbing Steve wanted to do, but it was a start. He felt slightly more human by the time he sat down next to Natasha, hair still wet, and took one of the sandwiches she’d dug out of the gear box. 

“You know Tony has trust issues,” Natasha said. “And you’ve got communication issues. You two need to find a way to work around that.”

“It’s not that easy,” Steve said through a mouthful of sandwich.

She smiled. “But that’s why it’s worth it, right?”

She wasn’t wrong. Steve smiled back, polished off four more sandwiches, and then put his feet up and tried to sleep. It came to him with unexpected ease, but maybe that wasn’t so surprising: he’d been awake for more than fifty hours by this point, not having been comfortable enough to sleep in the middle of the Hydra base. He’d been too sure that someone would discover his identity if he did.

He slept until the quinjet touched down at the tower. Natasha waved him off, telling him that she would take care of getting the data to Fury. Steve hugged her in thanks before bounding down the steps and heading for the elevator as fast as he could. JARVIS greeted him politely and took the elevator up to Phil’s floor without having to be asked.

The doors swept open to reveal darkened rooms. Suddenly, Steve realized that it was after 3am. Phil, Clint and Tony were probably all asleep. He crept silently through the kitchen and down the hallway, finding his way to the guest room with ease. Tony and Clint were sharing the bed, while it looked like Phil had fallen asleep in the rocking chair while watching over them.

Steve tiptoed in and gently picked Tony up from the bed, shutting the door behind them as they left. He walked back out to the living room and sat on the couch, setting Tony in his lap, whispering, “Tony, sweetheart, wake up. I’m home.”

It took a moment for Tony to stir, eyelashes fluttering. He squinted up at Steve, mouth pinched like he was trying to decide whether to cry or yell, before memory swept over him. His eyes widened. “Steve?!”

“Hey,” Steve said, smiling. He wasn’t dealing with his baby, at least not right now. That was perfectly fine. He cupped Tony’s face and kissed him, sighing. It felt like coming home.

Tony kissed him back hard, then broke the kiss to hiss, “Where the hell have you been?”

“With Hydra,” Steve replied. “I didn’t even know Bucky was there, Tony. I swear.”

The tips of Tony’s ears reddened. “Steve, I –”

“And I get why you would’ve thought that,” Steve went on. “I’m not angry. Really, I’m not. 74% chance, I probably would’ve thought the same thing if our positions were reversed. I just need you to know that I would _never_ leave you on the edge like that. Even if it was a 99% chance that it was Bucky, I would find some way to contact you and let you know what was going on.”

“You didn’t, though,” Tony said.

“My phone is in a river,” Steve admitted. “And there was nowhere in the base that I thought I could send a message without being caught.”

“A river? What?”

“It’s a long story. The point is, I really couldn’t get word out to you. I’ll tell you the whole story tomorrow, but I was undercover. And I’m sorry for scaring you.”

Tony was quiet for a moment, just breathing and thinking. Then he whispered, “I’m sorry for thinking you were with Bucky. I was worried when you didn’t come home or reach out. I think I latched onto the one explanation that didn’t mean you might’ve been taken prisoner, or were lying in a ditch somewhere.”

Steve nodded. That made sense. He kissed Tony again and murmured, “So long as you know that I really do know better than that now. I’m trying hard to remember that I don’t exist in a bubble.”

“I’ll try harder to trust you,” Tony said softly. From anyone else, that might not have meant much. From Tony, it meant _everything_. Steve hugged him, momentarily unable to speak, until he felt like he could answer without his voice cracking.

“I love you. I know we have to talk a lot more. But right now, I’d really like to spend some time with my baby,” he said. It wasn’t a lie, and it wasn’t just because he could tell that Tony needed to be little too. Spending time with little Tony always made Steve feel more relaxed and safe, especially when he was this on edge. He couldn’t fathom sleeping much tonight otherwise.

“I can do that,” Tony said, leaning into Steve. He tucked his thumb into his mouth and shut his eyes. Steve rubbed his back and felt more than saw some of the tension draining out of Tony’s body. 

He also noticed that Tony was wet, probably having peed in his sleep without realizing it. It was just like him to not say anything. Steve rolled his eyes, more amused than anything, and stood up. Tony’s diaper bag was sitting beside the couch. He laid Tony out on the couch with the plastic changing mat beneath him and took off the soiled diaper, replacing it with a new one.

The routine was soothing for both of them. By the time Steve had finished he was calmer and less jittery, and he could tell that Tony had slipped fully into his headspace. He cleaned up and washed his hands, then returned to the couch and peeked over the back. A sleepy baby blinked up at him. Tony stretched one hand up in Steve’s direction, fingers opening and closing slowly. Steve took his hand, giving it a light squeeze.

“Hi you,” he whispered. “Want a bottle before we go back to bed? I bet you didn’t eat much of your supper.”

Tony babbled something unintelligible, mostly lost in his thumb. He must’ve been feeling really little to go non-verbal. Steve smiled fondly, that same overwhelming swell of affection flooding through him again, and shifted around the end of the couch to pick Tony up. He’d never get over how strong and proud he felt when Tony curled into him, free hand gripping the front of Steve’s sweatshirt, completely trusting.

“I love you, baby boy,” he said, kissing the top of Tony’s head. Tony yawned in response, nuzzling his cheek into Steve’s throat like a sleepy kitten. Steve smiled and carried him into the kitchen to get that bottle.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://tsuki-chibi.tumblr.com/).


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